Vegeta's Christmas Thong!
by Saiya-jin Honey Bee
Summary: God I suck at summaries...v.v, Anyway, basically Goku gets the perfect *heavy sarcasm* present for Vegeta with a bit of help from the bad present fairy


Vegeta's Christmas Thong! Saiya-Jin Honey Bee  
  
AN: Hi-cha everyone! Well it's almost that time of year, and I hope you guys have all completed your Holiday shopping (God knows I haven't....) Any way, here in Iowa City (Yes, I live in Iowa, and no, I'm not a pig farmer and there are no corn fields visible from my house) my school goes into oppressive mode major the week before our winter break starts. I find it incredibly stupid that we're not allowed to have Christmas decorations around the school, or sing any happy Christmas carols, or roast chestnuts over open fires. Especially considering the fact that the choirs are all allowed to sing songs about God and Jesus Christ (which we do quite often, since both our choir directors are religious nuts). About the closest thing we got to Christmas this year was stupid winter decorations in the library and a Gingerbread house decorating contest. We also don't get to put up any Chanukah or Kwanzaa decorations either, which it doubly stupid, because if we put up Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanzaa decorations, then everyone would be happy, right? I know I would! Anyway, I hope you guys all have a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa and a happy New year (with much drinking of wine/sparkling grape juice ^.^).  
  
Description: Goku ponders what to buy Vegeta for Christmas...and due to a little trickery from the evil bad present fairy (who visits me every year .) Goku buys Vegeta a thong. Kinda a parody on "The Night Before Christmas" in some parts, but most of the time it's all original me! (unfortunately for you poor people v.v;;;) Rating: PG, cause of the whole thing with the thong....*snicker* no bad words or anything though...  
  
Vegeta's Christmas Thong!  
  
It was the day before the day before the night before Christmas, And at the Son House, every creature was stirring, including a mouse. "EEK! A mouse, A mouse! Dirty Dirty Dirty!!" General Blue was there too, though no one knew quite why. There might have been a rip in the space-time continuum...again. In the bright, cheery kitchen, Son Goku sat thinking. Son Goku was thinking and thinking and thinking. Son Goku had been sitting here for hours, pondering and pondering, next to Chi Chi's potted flowers. You see, Son Goku had almost completed his Christmas shopping, but there was one gift that had his brain stopping. He had managed to find gifts for Bulma, Yamcha, Trunks and Goten, and even Chi Chi, Master Roshi and Gohan. But there was one friend who puzzled Son Goku to no end, Every year 'twas the same, all his gifts were deemed lame. And so the Saiyan sat, and thought and thought, Good Kami, how would he get out of this spot? When along came the nasty, mean, bad present fairy. Now this is the guy who crawls under your hair...y and whispers tidings of bad presents for those you hold dear. A singing bass for Dad, or breast implants for your honey, It would have been better if you had given them a big wad of money! And onto Son Goku's shoulder this evil fairy crept, and leaned his face close to his ear. Then, snickering, he whispered a present any person would fear. Son Goku's eyes shot open His eyes lit up bright, and sparkled and shone in the soft lamp- light. What better gift to your best friend, Then a 100% cotton super comfy thong, the new trend! Son Goku leaped up out of his chair, he did a somersault, he danced in the air. Yes, this was the perfect gift for Vegeta! Immediately Son Goku leapt up from his seat this was the year his present wouldn't be beat! and out the door the he flew like a flash. "ONWARD TO WAL-MART!!" He called as he flew, and through the yard like a breeze he blew. "GOKU! You're not going anywhere to till you clean this house!" the harpy yelled from the the kitchen, "and get rid of that guy, who's afraid of our mouse!" Son Goku sagged sadly, "But Chi-chan," He whined "I want to get a good gift for Vegeta...badly!" " No buts!" snapped the unfortunate Son Goku's wife, " You'll get rid of that man," she continued, "Or I'll stab you with a knife." Son Goku was torn between true love and friendship his head swiveled back and forth, He chewed just a bit at his lip. But in the end, friendship won over, and he left the harpy yelling in the snow, waving her kitchen cleaver. Son Goku flew over the buildings of the city "Ooh..." he said happily "the lights are so pretty! What a great day to go shopping for my friend!" He flew 'cross the city, seaching for that one building, that would bring his Christmas quest to an end. Finally he spotted it, decked in red, blue and white, he almost cried, it was such a happy sight. He walked in the door, and past all the shoppers, right past the candies and potato chips, past the scene where a Salvation army Santa was being arrested by coppers. and right to the place where Son Goku would find his prize, there was just one problem, He didn't know Vegeta's size! But after a bit of lightning quick thinking, Son Goku found a solution, And his heart stopped sinking. Son Goku's solution was a smart one indeed, He found the one-size-fits all thongs, now he had what he'd need. He quickly checked out (though the clerk gave him funny looks) and walked out past the photo center, and past the shelves of books. He flew back to his home, wrapped up his last gift, and anxiously waited for christmas to come. Finally it did, to Son Goku's Delight, he squirmed as they drove, to Bulma's big party he could hardly contain his excitement that night. All through dinner, and even through desert, Son Goku wiggled in his chair, he was so happy, it made his stomach hurt Finally the time to open presents came, and everyone was given their presents, whose gift tags carried their names. Finally they came to the Prince's last gift Son Goku could hardly contain his glee, as the box lid Vegeta did lift. When the prince took out the present, the room grew eerie calm. Son Goku waited eagerly for the recipient to comment. The Prince blinked once, then twice, looked from the gift to it's giver then a wide grin spread 'cross his face "It's nice!" he cried with glee "No! It's better than nice, this is the best gift ever!" The Prince hugged Son Goku happily. Everyone else in the room just stared, they couldn't believe their eyes Vegeta hugging Son Goku? was his brain somehow impaired? "Merry Christmas Vegeta!" "Merry Christmas Kakarot." Uhm...THE END?  
  
AN:*blink* *Reads it over a couple more times* Okay...this sucked majorly. But it started out okay...I think. Anyway, I think I'll just blame it on the egg nog and Sparkling apple cider....yeah. Okay, anyway...I'd like to take this time to say thanks to you people who reveiwed "Conclusions: Vegeta's Thoughts" and "Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty" ( Which I WILL update soon, I promise!!) I even got a reveiw from one of my favorite authors...^.^ *glee*so thanks to you all, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!! May it bring you much presents, food, presents, family togetherness, presents and presents! ^.^ 


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